Friday, January 7, 2011


Ok, simple.  I came without permission during work.  It is becoming a regular thing.  This adventure is so sexual, so intense, so kinky that I sometimes lose control.  I TRULY wasn't going to tell my fiancee. But again I did.  I don't know if I secretly want to be punished and see what she comes up with or I just lose control.  Maybe a combination of the two.  However after this experience.  I am assured that I will be a better sub and control it.  I, together with my glorious sexy fiancee, realized my punishment must be severe enough so I learn that a pleasurable solo orgasm without permission will forever now be associated with a tortuous solo that way my weak male control and my pathetic dirty clit will begin to realize that my fiancee and her feminine ways are superior and that I need to master self control to please her.  This is about her.  Well, tonight certainly made me never want to cum without permission again. 

Basically...I tied up my balls using a technique that I am trying to master...I also will send blog on tying up balls to Master.  I tied then up tighter than normal as I knew this wasn't going to be long and that I needed to learn.  To me tying them up very tight tonight was a sign that the ownership of them has been transferred to my beautiful Lady.  Tying up the balls is like imprisoning them.  Sure they become sensitive to the touch but at the same time it is nearly impossible to have a full erection.  The rope that binds then restricts that.  Its like you are capturing part of your own body and putting it in prison.  Doing so reminds me that my fiancee has a pair of balls now, namely mine.  That she truly owns them.  She however has truly always owned my cock and balls.  She has constantly been grabbing my cock for years will and with no expectations of me being sexual.  This in many ways has been built up leading to this new experience.  Her ability to grab my cock at will, anywhere, in stores, in front of her house, in the car, in many ways has shown her ownership of it for many years.  Most men would either brush her hand aside as they are embarrassed or want to fuck her as they got excited.  However I just always felt it was enjoyable and it felt like being pet, that this cock that brought her so much pleasure should be readily available for her to touch and grab for her own pleasure and that my pleasure came from the fact that it got to be pet and stroked.  So I guess it has been an easy transition from that to her now grabbing my "clit", balls and fingering my "pussy".   I tend to lower myself now to make it easier for her and even avert my eyes or place my head on her shoulder as a sign that those are her objects to play with as she feels fit and as the former owner presenting his wares to the new owner, I want to show my pleasure that she choose my product.  I want to present them with grace and submission.

So, moving on... I then washed my dirty balls in a bowl of ice as punishment for touching them without permission.  By dirty, I certainly don't mean dirty as in not clean.  I pride myself on my cleanliness. Dirty in this case refers to being bad.  A "dirty boy" who misbehaves.  My balls misbehaved today by allowing cum to pulsate threw them with no permission.  My balls need to be controlled, the very cum they produce need to be respectful to their new Owner.  After immersing them in the icy water, and jumping a bit from the shock, the balls even though tied up tried to shrink away.  They wanted to retreat into my stomach to stay away from the icy water.  However the ties prevented that from happening so my balls still full of cum froze in the water...turning the hot sexy cum inside of them to a cold deadened sack.  I knew that the sperm in each ball was dying quickly from the change in temperature.  And probably fitting as the sperms brothers earlier got to enjoy being released.  Balls so used to being hot, sweaty, full, bursting, churning were now cold, icy, tight, retreating.  They learned their lesson well.

I then slapped my clit with a ruler as a teacher slaps the hands of a student who misbehaves.  I bought the ruler earlier today at Walgreen's.  An odd purchase as I sat there and actually went through many different colors and types of rulers to choose from.  I wondered if my fiancee would like this one or that one.  I slapped it against my hand.  Testing it.  Knowing the only purpose was to slap my "clit".  This wasn't a school project where I needed to make a straight line or measure something.  This was a task assigned to me and the rulers only purpose was to slap my cock immerse in cold water.  I wonder if the "Penway" company ever imagined such a use for its product at production.  The ruler I choose was a soft pinkish red...the color conveyed both anger and femininity...the perfect combination. It is flexible as neither my fiancee nor myself wants to truly commit myself to pain.  Just enough to associate my actions with punishment and to correct for the future. A slap as corporal punishment can change bad behavior easily.

  I then proceed to ruin two orgasms in the bowl as warning that my orgasms for pleasure are only awarded by my fiancee and not myself. Ruined orgasms...what can one say.  You cum... which is in itself a form of pleasure.  But when one removes the motion, the feeling of stroking right before orgasm, it is beyond frustrating and the pleasure is taken away.  You can feel the testicles pull up.  You can feel the vas deferens fill with pressure.  You can feel the explosion starting to balloon forth  But when all motion is stopped it is like the brakes being slammed on a train 100 feet before hitting a car in the roadway.  You KNOW there is NO WAY the train can stop in time, it will hit the car however you have no choice but to stop it or at least try to stop it to minimize the impact.  And as hitting the car is a disaster, so is the ruined orgasm.  A pleasurable moment destroyed.  Cumming without pleasure.  One gets a release with no release.  It dribble or barely squirts out.  You know the rest of it is being drained slowly back into the balls, worthless now. And your brain spins because it has so long assoicated cumming with pleasure and not this half ass, feeble attempt.  Your cock softens thinking it has done its job but your mind knows it didn't do its job and keeps your sexual drive in high gear.  Another association comes to mind from that statement.  Revving your car in neutral...the engine whines and grinds loud thinking its hitting the road and piercing through the air...but the car knows its useless, there is no movement...its dead in the water.  The car itches to go forward yet sits still while the engine races away.  That's my cock and mind from a ruined orgasm racing and going nowhere.

And finally I lap up the cum filled, ball sweat water as a sign of submission and punishment. If I cum without permission...I must repay that by torturing my clit and balls and consuming my cum so I learn that solo orgasms are not for pleasure unless Master commands it.  Cum is not a wonderful taste, however cold cum mixed with ball sweat is much worse.  I don't think a comparison can be made.  One gets the message quite clear from consuming their own cum from a bowl of cold water, "don't cum without permission"!  Eating cum as whole experience is odd.  It is not enjoyable by any means, yet not so bad as I feared.  It is odd however to expel something from your body and then consume it back again. Its like telling the body it made an error, it needs to return what came out from where it came.  You took the toy out of the box, return it.  You came, so put the cum back in you.  Its also a weird yet incredibly sexy feeling to know that I am doing things with cum that no girl I know has.  Many girls don't swallow at all, and even my fiancee who doesn't mind cum have never "played" with it.  She has never licked it out of a condom or a cold bowl of water.  Most girls have not.  Yet here I am with visual proof of eating my own cum, cold, hot, wet and dry.   That's what you call a slut.  A cum whore.  At one point disgusting at the other a kinky fucking submissive bitch thing to do on a command.  I could never EVER eat my cum for my own pleasure (its not pleasure) yet one word from my femdom fiancee...and I consume it.  Is that control from a beautiful new Mistress? Is that a deviant and kinky mind willing to explore? BOTH I think.  But the message is clear.  Your dirty "clit" cum's, you consume it

Well that it...I took the string off, cleaned out the bowl and my balls are finally warming back up.  I learned my lesson.  Its a severe punishment but not an impossible one.  One I think after this log my Mistress will immensely enjoy and one I hope to avoid nearly as much.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


KeyholderWife said...

That was a good punishment. You are proving what I say - all men need to be locked up as they cannot control themselves.

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